With the Passing of the July Fourth Holiday, it’s time for Denver Sports fans to gain some of their own Independence.
When, in the course of sports in the summer, it becomes necessary to fill time not spent on Broncos minicamps and training camps, fans of Denver sports teams must band together and dissolve the many injustices, obstructions and exasperations laid before us.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all sports teams are created equal. That the inequality in the professional and college sports leagues is unjust and unlawful. We the sports fans believe that the Denver Nuggets, Colorado Rockies, Denver Broncos and Colorado Avalanche (yes, even the Avalanche), should be playoff contenders each year. Furthermore, we believe that our players, coaches and organizations should hold themselves to the highest levels of excellence.
Below is a list of things we will no longer accept from our sports teams:
9. Colorado Rockies Pitching Implosions
During the Colorado Rockies winning drought, we have seen signs of fatigued pitchers. The young pitchers are struggling and the bullpen doesn’t have enough arms. As fans, we will not accept a slide back into the days where the Rockies could not pitch to stay in a game. Translation: Stop sending Jordan Lyles to the mound.
8. The Rockies Without Bats
As fans, we will not continue to tolerate the anemic bats of Rockies hitters, especially on the road. If the current approach to batting isn’t working, then something needs to change. My suggestion is to stop holding batting practice outside at Coors Field. The players should work in the cages at home and save batting practice for the road. At batting practice a couple of weeks ago, a player hit the Todd Helton burger sign in batting practice and the players went nuts. That’s not promoting situational hitting.
7. The Nuggets Clown Car
We will no longer accept the current Nuggets rotation housing too many players. If the Nuggets refuse to trade or cut players to make way for young talent, then they must tell a good chunk of the roster to find another job in the stadium on game nights. They have enough assistant coaches, but the Pepsi Center usher crowd could use some people under 70. If nothing else, Michael Malone must start making the tough decisions that come with being a head coach.
6. The Avalanche
We will no longer accept the Avalanche. They cannot be as bad this year as they were last year.
5. The Quarterback Controversy
The Siemian vs. Lynch debate cannot continue into 2018. Broncos, you have six months to make a final decision.
4. CSU Outside of the Big Five Conferences
Listen, as a CU Buff alumni, I want to see CSU move to one of the major conferences. It would make winning CU’s annual football matchup with CSU much more satisfying. Right now, CU is in a no-win situation when they play CSU. They either lose a game they are supposed to win or they win a game they are supposed to win. It’s nice, but it’s not spectacular. Move CSU to a big conference and we’ll stop calling them little brother (that’s the only taunt we’re changing). While the Big 12 or an expansion of the Pac-12 seem like the best options, what if they join the SEC? That would be the most fun for me, a CU fan, to watch.
3. Dinger and Toothy the Tooth
If I’m only allowed to get rid of one of the mascots, it’s a really close call. Toothy, at least, promotes dental hygiene.
2. Danilo Gallinari
I wanted Gallinari to stay. I’m sad to see him go. You should read Jeff Morton’s tribute to him—So long Rooster: Danilo Gallinari will sign with the Los Angeles Clippers
The Little Shop of Horrors Field at Mile High Stadium
We cannot accept another Broncos season calling the stadium Sports Authority Field. If you really can’t find a new name (or someone to pay a lot of money for a new name), take down the Sports Authority logo and just call the stadium Mile High. I have news for the Broncos. We really just want it to be called Mile High Stadium.